October 2, 2009
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blah blah *show tunes* blah blah
I think yesterday my midlife crisis decided to get started.
Y’know I’m turning 40 this year. Quite soon in fact. And what do I have to show for it? Am I president of anything? No. My life is flying by and I am not even president of anything. It gives a person pause I tell you.
I had a bizarre unsettling experience this week where, apparently, I completely and totally misunderstood another person and misread the person’s signals. The intense hostility released onto me by this person was so fierce and so unexpected that it really knocked me for a loop. It wasn’t work-related or family-related or anything. I can easily and quickly cut this person out of my life entirely, but I still have this dizzy feeling and a knot in my stomach when I think about it. I need to just let it go. It’s sad.
My new little class of kindies is also taking a lot out of me. Cute little five year olds realllllly require a lot of energy from their teacher. Not a shocking bit of news, but my body hasn’t gotten used to it yet. I get home at night, eat whatever Scott cooks and stare into space for a while. And with me in this very vulnerable state, the damn Fox network has decided to put out a new TV show that has ME as its target audience. Let’s see… it’s about teachers, kids in the high school show choir, it is full of show tunes, has ironical caricatured characters, dark humor and did I mention show tunes? Also Queen songs? Sign me up! I got caught up with Glee on hulu.com. You may know that I don’t watch TV as a rule because I am too intense and get too involved. I try to Just Say No to television. As an example of my “problem” – I’ve now watched each show about twice so far on my laptop, not counting the dozens of times I’ve re-viewed the musical numbers. And I’ve looked up the chords to play the songs on my ukulele. And I might have checked out their Twitter feed and their clips on youtube. Show choir doing Amy Winehouse? Single Ladies for goodness sakes??? There’s nothing I can do to defend myself against these things. So, I don’t view this as a good development, but I am helpless in the face of singing, dancing teenagers performing Journey songs. Please send nutrients.
Also, to pile more onto the insanity pile, one of my favorite authors relased a brand new book in my favorite series this past week. These are eight-hundred page books, people. It has been ages since I read a novel, but I had to find out what happened to Jamie and Claire and I’ve been waiting like, three years. So, yeah, finished that yesterday. My eyes are crossing here.
And, since that’s not quite enough to keep a girl, er, middle-aged lady’s mind busy I’ll tell you that my parents have gone on a trip to China. If you’re in China, and you happen to see my parents, do say hello.
I hate not checking in with you more often, but this was my first opportunity to get my incoherent ramblings in paragraph form.
Oh, and in some exciting news, the website for the knitting retreat at which I will be teaching has gone live. Go check out my class offerings! Come knit in May, it’s going to be big fun. Mittens and Gloves! It’s at www.handsonretreat.com.
Thank you, and goodnight.
Comments (6)
You mold minds, not policy. You are making future presidents.
Glee rocks my socks.I hope the routine settles in soon.
@EricaF - Thanks sweetie. *smooch*
Not president of anything? Are you kidding? You are president of those kiddies’ hearts and minds. (And by the way, I aspire to have my Kindergartener love me as much as he loves you!).
When Benja was a baby and I was a SAHM, I once lamented to my local fishmonger that I had a college education, but it totally wasn’t benefitting me at all. Pointing to my baby he replied, “No – it’s benefitting him.” Good point, eh?
Instead of using your talents, skills and passions for your own personal gain (in a world where you would be president of something), you are using them to create wonderful little people out of challenging and impressionable little people. Everything you have accomplished, everything you have done, goes pouring into those kids each day. No wonder you are exhausted.
You know, when a ship sails across the ocean, any small amount of tacking it does at the beginning of its course can change its destination by hundreds, even thousands of miles. You are busy tacking those kiddos in the right direction. Their college professors who get them later on may have a lot of influence over what they become. But you, my dear, have domain over who they will become.
Now go veg in front of the tv, guilt-free, please. And have a glass of wine too. You totally deserve it.
others words are more eloquent than mine. you are one awesome inspiring woman. never forget that. xx
@pennymc - @peninahleah - Thank you to my two Penny-s! Pennies?
Penny C – your kindergartner is really quite amazing! how about those notes he wrote to you the other day — all on his own initiative!!! remind me to tell you more about that in person!
I’m excited for you – that retreat sounds awesome! And yes, you are influencing the future of our society by teaching those little ones – and if you aren’t a ball of energy, I have no idea who is! Seriously though, I know how being “on” all the time can take it out of a person – I remember that vividly and it’s one of the main reasons I don’t feel like jumping back into it after my kids are all in school. You are in my thoughts and I am grateful to all who take on that role. ((HUGS))